September 7, 1967 – September 27, 2025
Where have you gone, my little brother, the golden child I used to rock to sleep at night? My last living sibling has left us. Alone, I struggle to find meaning in this loss. May our 93-year-old father Milton never learn of it.
Nearly 11 years after I was born, he arrived — a so-called accident baby whom we all adored and spoiled. I remember a young Tony telling me that he wouldn’t do anything with his life other than music. And by all accounts he kept his word. I’m skeptical about the great artists he claimed to have accompanied, listed on his website and elsewhere, though that seems par for the course in the music business. (When I met B.B. King backstage once, he rolled his eyes as I mentioned other musicians who took credit in their album liner notes for having played with him.) Still, Tony was a dedicated guitar instructor, highly focused on theory.
If you’ll forgive the cliche, he marched to his own drummer his entire life. Like our late sister Reissa, he was a heavy cigarette smoker, but he rejected most established healthcare in favor of traditional medicine from Asia and other non-Western cultures. (It’s tragically ironic that, according to some of his closest students, Tony had at last given up smoking in a valiant effort to get healthy again.) His views on just about everything from science to politics were pretty fringy (perhaps less so in the age of MAGA), which alienated many of us yet apparently attracted others. As he got older Tony drifted away from most of his relatives, and we from him.
I believe I was the last family member to spend time with him in person. After visiting my late mother-in-law in Corpus Christi, Texas, before she passed away in the fall of 2023, I drove up to Austin to take him out for barbecue lunch. We hugged when I had to leave for the airport in San Antonio. I would neither see nor speak with Tony alive again.
Several years ago he decided to leave his birthplace of Montreal for greener pastures to advance his teaching career. After disappointing forays in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Las Vegas, he seemed to find fertile ground in Austin. (I had also recommended Nashville, Tennessee, to him as having promise for his line of work). In fact, it was one of his students who reported him unreachable when he showed up at Tony’s apartment for a lesson. On Saturday, September 27, with my permission an Austin-Travis County Emergency Medical Services team entered his apartment and found him deceased on the bathroom floor. He was 58 years old.
According to the Travis County Medical Examiner’s Office, there were no signs of foul play, suicide or drug paraphernalia. In all likelihood he died of a natural cause such as heart attack or stroke, though a more-definitive report on his death is still to come. When I last saw him he didn’t look well to me, overweight and at times breathing laboriously. But he seemed upbeat about his prospects in the Austin area, and I hope he was similarly optimistic in his final moments on this earth.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Somehow, and I don’t know why, I never knew you had a brother. Maybe because I was an oblivious, self-absorbed pre-teen. I met your sister only once or twice.
There’s nothing worse than the death of someone you’ve been close to, in any way, at any time. It reminds us of the unfairness and the cruelty that are threaded through and inseparable from the fabric of life. I hope you have some of his music recorded and available to listen to. And maybe a bottle of good Scotch to go with it.
Hi, Gary. I was very good friends with your brother Tony.
I knew something was wrong when I didn’t receive anything on Messenger and he didn’t respond to what I sent him. I missed his last call last Wednesday but called back right away and got no answer. By Sunday I was worried and I called every hospital in Austin with no luck. So I called the Austin Police Department so they could conduct a wellness check. They called me back 10 minutes later to inform me that Tony was deceased.
I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m so heartbroken at this moment. May Tony rest in eternal peace. With Blessings, Jeannie.
Dear Jeannie:
Tony was my dear friend, mentor and piano teacher. We had several relationships, lol! He spoke of you often, always with such respect for your talent and long-lasting friendship. I pray this will help both you and Gary.
On Wednesday I had a lesson with Tony from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. Pacific Time. Normally our lessons are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but Tony had a medical appointment on Tuesday so we rescheduled for Wednesday and Friday. He had quit smoking for about a week and said it felt like forever. He had gone to the doctor prior to that; they checked his oxygen levels and they were perfect. But he was having some skin issues as well, and they told him the skin issues were causing him the indigestion that he was experiencing. Looking back, I’m thinking that it was probably his heart.
I sent him a text and asked if we could change my lesson to Friday at 3:00 p.m. That was the last time I heard from him. I should’ve known something was up on Thursday because he usually contacted me every day. Most recently he would either call to let me know how he was doing or he’d send me something regarding what we spoke about in our last lesson, or even send music that he’d written for me to work on. When 3:00 p.m. rolled around on Friday and he was not there waiting for me for my lesson online, I knew something was up. Tony never missed a lesson. Tony was never late and I could not reach him. Like you, I called every single hospital in the area and then they advised me to call 911 for a wellness check. I told the dispatcher that he had not been feeling well and they told me they would call me back. But they didn’t call me right back, so I called all the hospitals again on Saturday, and I called 911 again. They said they couldn’t tell me anything and they would have a police officer return my call. After I didn’t hear back I called yet again and they said that they did have the police go over there and they knocked on the door. But they didn’t see any signs of foul play and never went in. I was so frustrated by then. Then they told me to file a missing person’s report. I’m sure out of respect for the family being notified first, which I totally honor, they were waiting to release the information. Finally, on September 29th, I had a police officer call me and explain that Tony was deceased and had been found in his apartment.
I just felt such relief that he was no longer alone. What breaks my heart is that he was waiting for his health insurance to kick in this week. With all that’s been said, I just want everyone to know that he was very committed to his students and so passionate about teaching. HE LOVED MUSIC! One of the last things he stated to me was that all he wanted to do is be around to teach us. I was blessed to have had the BEST piano teacher, whom I met in Las Vegas first and then we studied via an app called “FarPlay,” with no delay. He discovered it, of course. May our Tony rest in the peace he so deserves. He was taken way too soon. Only God knows the plans he has for us.
Debbie Keller
NOTE: Recently, Tony was so focused on how terrible the Jewish students were being treated in the universities and how the leaders of those universities were not protecting the students. As a Jewish man, that bothered him tremendously and was causing him a lot of stress. The doctor told him he had to let that go and not get so worked up about it. That’s hard to do when you see innocent students being treated so poorly and not protected!
Hello, Debbie, and thank you so much for responding to my post.
You have no idea how much it means to me. I’m so heartbroken I can’t even think straight. Just knowing he spoke to you about me makes me feel even more at peace.
We shared so much about everything, and to think we’ll never have another conversation ever again has been too much to take in. I was so thrilled he finally quit smoking and was feeling so much better. It breaks me that he passed away alone, but I have hope we’ll meet again someday. That’s what I’ll look forward to.
He was the most sincere, responsible and straightforward friend I’ll ever have. Thank you again, Debbie, and many blessings to you and yours.
Jeannie
Dear Gary:
I want you to know how absolutely devastated I am over the loss of your baby brother. I was not only a piano student of his beginning in Las Vegas and continuing in Austin, but we also became great friends. He was so unbelievably educated and shared so much musical and world history with me, only when I asked. He was a passionate and patient teacher. I have epilepsy and there were many days when my meds would make things difficult. Most days would be great. I learned so much in such a small amount of time we had together. We may have been become friends, but when class started, he was my teacher!
The story you told about coming to Austin and eating barbecue with Tony, he also shared with me (minus the hug, which warms my heart). He was looking forward to seeing you. He may not have agreed with you on politics, but he loved his family. He was devastated when you both lost your sister. He adored your father and always spoke very highly of him. He would never have wanted to cause him any pain. He spoke a lot about the aunt and Uncle that your parents raised, and mentioned that he had just spoken with your aunt.
I can’t imagine losing both of your siblings and so close together, but I can assure you there have been and will continue to be unending thoughts and prayers in our home.
May God comfort and bless You,
Debbie
Jeannie:
Your relationship with Tony was much deeper and longer than mine. But I can relate to many of the feelings you are experiencing. I am at a loss too. I Keep waiting for the text message or phone call. Thinking about looking for a new teacher makes me ill. His passing crushed me knowing he was waiting for his insurance to go into effect this week. I am grateful you reached out so that I could let you know how much he mentioned you. Take care of yourself and focus on how blessed we were to have known such a unique soul.
Debbie
Debbie, in my last long conversation with Tony, he mentioned he wanted to be in good health. He wanted to be around for a long time because he loved his life, family, students and me. We didn’t talk every day but when we did it was always over two hours and we’d always chat on Facebook Messenger. I used to call him “the Walking Encyclopedia,” lol!
He will be truly missed and I’m so grateful for having been a part of his short life, and I say short because he left us too soon. I pray the Lord gives his family and friends peace and comfort. Again, thank you so much for reaching out, and blessings.
Tony was our nephew. My wife grew up in her sister’s — Tony’s mom’s — house so in many ways she was both sister and aunt to Tony. Auntie Ruthie babysat for her nephew when he was a child. We started dating in high school and Tony’s surprise arrival when my wife-to-be and I were just starting university, which made a huge change in all our lives. He was doted on by all.
We’re pretty sure his music enthusiasm was started by his sister’s boyfriend and then husband, Roger Gibbs. When Gary took up the harmonica, so did Tony even though there was an 11-year age difference. Tony was just finishing high school when the family was planning their relocation from Montreal to Miami. The family picked Lakefield College School near Peterborough, Ontario, as his prep school; it’s about 80 miles from us in Toronto. We were chosen to be his guardians. One of his schoolmates was to become Sebastian Bach of the band “Skid Row.” We got Tony’s report cards and went to his school for parents’ day. Each of his subject teachers wrote several pages on Tony. We were amazed/dismayed at how expensive his prep school was until we got his report cards. They knew him so very well. On school breaks he would come stay with us, often with a friend who had nowhere else to go. He ate like a 300-pound football player. Our young daughters had never seen anything like it.
We saw him often when he lived in Montreal and after the move to Florida as well. His parents had a magnificent tropical bird. Young Tony (although not THAT young) wanted the bird to fly, and the bird was never seen again. He had his first music studio in his parents’ apartment and would disappear for days in it. When he eventually relocated back to Montreal, his mom helped him start his music-teaching career. He was very busy at the time, but those years in Florida made Montreal winters difficult. Our only connection with him after he moved back to the States was via phone and it was haphazard at best. Ruthie called often to check up on him. After a call, around September 18, Tony sent us pictures of a skin condition he had developed and for which he was getting medical treatment. When Ruthie called him back a week later, he said it was getting better. That was the last time we spoke.
Our daughters share our love for Tony and send their love to Gary and Tony’s many friends/students, as do my wife and I. We hope our fond memories of this special guy will replace our deep grief at Tony’s passing.
Uncle Phil and Auntie Ruthie
Thanks Phil and Ruthie for caring about my brother. I learn more about him with every comment. Regarding his love for music, Roger Gibbs deserves much credit but I truly believe it originated with our dad Milton. He was a jazz aficionado dating back to the 1950s, particularly an early fan of Miles Davis and John Coltrane. I have the original vinyl albums to prove it! I played piano before the harmonica, and turned Tony on to rock and folk as well as jazz at an early age.
I’m very saddened to hear of Tony’s death. We met when he was a child. I was dating older sister Reissa to whom I was married for 14 years. Actually, I met Reissa through Gary in Barbados, where the family spent many winter vacations and where I was born and raised. Tony was a very bright, beautiful child. As music was my passion, I encouraged him to explore. Over the years I was thrilled to see him blossom into a passionate and committed guitar player. Regrettably, we spoke less and less and then lost touch after he moved to the States and his political and social views took a hard right turn. Having recently felt the loss of my oldest brother, I can appreciate your profound sense of loss of both of your siblings. I have no words to make sense of these tragic events. Perhaps in time the answers will come to us. We live in hope and for blue skies ahead — as we must. Roger Gibbs
It’s so good to hear from you, Roger. Quite obviously, you were a huge influence on Tony’s career in music. I can still hear the sweet sounds of calypso from your band in Barbados. It makes me smile.
May my friend Tony, who dedicated his entire life to music and his students, have been welcomed into heaven.
I met Tony in 1990, aboard a VARIG plane, where I worked as a flight attendant. He came to Rio de Janeiro with his college band. We dated for six years, on and off, and in 1995, I took a leave of absence and went to spend six months with him in Hallandale, Florida. I met his parents, Anne and Milton, his sister, Reissa, and also his cousin, Patrícia, and Uncle Harvey.
He came to visit us in Rio de Janeiro several times and knew and loved my family. We hadn’t spoken in about 10 years, but he remained friends with my sisters and nephews on Facebook, and it was through my sister Célia that we learned of his passing.